Im just not in a good mood right now. Boo! Its the end of exams but it doesn feel like one. Maybe tts cos ive not really been studying for the past few days. But certainly cos there's nothing for me to enjoy. I hate the whole world. Actually not really. I just hate myself. & i dun like the fact tt im so pissed off.

I really really dun like it when im forced to do something tt i dun wish to & not given any choice. Its just annoying to have my freedom interrupted. So ive been grumbling for more than 3 hours now.

Today's just a not nice day la. Except for tt part tt i haf been playing with josh's phone sending random SMSes to his contacts. Contributed some pics into his picture gallery too. & its really wonderful tt he love his Jojo as his wallpaper but i tink yinlin and i look nicer. lol.

Driving the whole family ard is such a chore. I hate it when they are too noisy or too critical. So what if they are experienced drivers. I noe my stuff n i take my time to pick up those skills la. Dun haf to be so annoying and interrupt me when im trying to focus. Sheesh. Driving alone to school is still the nicest. So peaceful.

Today i rescued a young boy. So happy. I always knew i can get along with kids so well. & tts really an advantage. Haha. Jnow there was a toddler who was left unattended by his parents cos both were occupied by his other two siblings in their strollers. N this lil boy got onto the train just before the door closes leaving his other family members still on the platform. So poor thing la. He wailed like nobody business and refused to listen to some of the passengers who tried to talk to him. But when i approached him, he stopped crying immediately and listened to me. Wahhaaa. I can do magic mann. LOL. So i comforted the lil kid and carried him out at the next station knowing tt his parents will surely catch the next train. Waited with him till his parents came. Feels so good. (:

Tmr i shall be a loner once again. Revise for phy MCQ cos there's nothing else i can do. Boohoo. Staying home alone is just too boring la. Maybe i shud go out. But. With who? Sigh.

I finally found dumbo after misplacing her for 24 hours. Nearly reported it to the police la. LOL. But i tink she hid herself under my pile of notes cos her cookie tee is still not ironed. Bad bad baby.

Just as expected. I did waste my effort trying to shoo a bugger off but he's like hint-proof. Cant get any hints. Think his skin shud be ten metres thick. Wadeva. Im gg to stay mean to you you and you. Just you and your species. Boo!

Okay. Bye bye my hair. I dunno how i want it to be cut but i just noe tt i'll be cutting it tmr. LOL. & tts how my sat morn shall be spent this week. No more study session at TW mac with marvin, kenneth ... Wow. I dunno if i'llbe missing those session but right now im not. The past few sessions are not exactly enjoyable. I prefer the pre midyears'. More fun. & less annoying. Heh.

Monday shall be the last day of promos for me and my lovely bestest family. All the best. (: Then we can all look forward to IHG on thurs. Heh. Tink the vball match will be damn funny. Nobel against owen. Dark blue against light blue. Me against Don. Okay. I dun even noe who'll be in my team. but gues shudn had any internal conflict cos our team is made up of nice S20 ppl. Like me. Hoho. If you say im dangerous, i'll kill you. Tts very nice of me eh? LOL.

Physics physics physics. Fancy me sitting for a paper without reading through any notes or prac anything. Well, i did try doing a lil bit of phy one or two weeks before today. But tt few qns barely cover three topics. Hoho. Now im tinking if i can even pass the paper. I did attempt the whole paper & realised GravFi is still my weakest till now. Last year i totally leave out tt whole topic. But i passed it well. LOL. This time round, i haf no idea la. Hopefully can pass la. If not, then good game la. Needa get full marks for paper 1. Then i dun haf to worry anymore.

Hopeless. Speechless. Thinking hard.

I'll be fine. (:

Sometimes i wonder. Why isit tt i can be so mean, so evil, so nasty, but some guys just cant get the hint?? GET OFF MY BACK!! Boo. Irritating mann. If i dun bother talking nicely to you, reply ur nonsense, or invite you to enjoy my joyous time with my lovely frens, then it jolly well means, i dun need you to stick ard. Im stubborn and i stick well with my principles. If i dun tink u are sensible or worth talking to, i just dun. Zzz. Tink im wasting my effort cos you sure dun get my hint. Oh yea. If i say SHUT UP, you better do. Or i'll make sure you'll be sorry for it.

Maths wasn hard. Really. But i dunno why i can lose 22 marks just like tt. I better not be too careless to even secure a C. Its ridiculous la. Why some qns award so much marks but i can do them in simplers steps or even just one. Omg. Then i haf to tink back and work out a few more steps feeling like im explaining to an idiot. Sigh. I tink my paper 1 for chem was done just as wad i expected. LOL. & i did expect somebody to flop due to complacency which he did. Or i knew it all, he wasn tt good afterall. Hehe.

Tmr's phy and i haven do much preparation for it. Tink tmr i must really read through. I said i will prac math this morn but end up, i didn. Heh. Lucky math wasn tt bad. & marvin, its phy tmr!!!! Jiayou, phy rep. You can do it la. We still need you next year leh.

& im sorry once again to cost u so much emotional upsets. I really dun mean to. Told you im selfish, & nothing's gg to change. If you love me, then love me for who i am.

Chemistry. Now i understood why suresh cudn care less before the paper when i started to panic. He wanted more sleep and it wasn necessary to "consult" him. Heh. Definitely, paper one was filled with tricky qns. But at the same time, it made me smile knowing tt i do understand how chem goes abt. A few cudn finish the paper, hope they dun get too disappointed. Right aft the paper, i realised tt i lost one mark identifying the wrong gas. Zzz. How careless. Hopefully i can pass it. Its possible to even get 70 plus i tink. Then my overall mark will be an A. Woo. But hoho. Im full of careless mistakes. & tt stupid reaction kinetics qn. Sigh.

Now i feel like not caring anymore. Two more papers left. Math n physics. Im so lazy to care. Boo! I shant be complacent abt passing but im sure i can. But wad i really want is to ace them. Kk. Shant be too lazy. Tmr morning, i shall do some math. Heeh.

Searching for numerous answers. Oh me oh my. I feel like killing my own self or attitude. It is full of reckless disregard to the consequences. Talk about dumbness. Myra has somehow forgotten to tink for herself wad is right or wad is wrong. Nahh. This is not any morality issue. Its about a girl who lack of selflessness. Damn. Im really sorry to all whom i haf offended. I noe i shud be more thoughtful. But im really tinking. Should we just let some things get between wad u call true happiness? ):

Talk about pride. Talk about being selflessness. Some ppl say you gotta love yourself before others. Some say you gotta give your all when u love. So which comes first? Its confusing and upsetting. I wanna be wad i wanna be. I wanna do things the way i want to. All tt keeps me happy. I noe my desires are insatiable. But i wanna keep myself happy. But wad happens if you want me otherwise? Am i supposed to give in to make you happy. & feel happy just becos u are too. Sigh. I tink u are gradually giving up on me. Letting me do wad i wanna do or else i go berserk. I noe i shud blame myself. Im too stubborn eh. Well, im really sorry. & i dun mean to make u feel depress.

Muddled. Scared.

Some depths are better not ventured. Cos u may forget to go up to catch some breath and drown in ur own efforts. Tts suicidal. Stuck.

Econs paper was expectedly unexpected. It somehow almost perfectly wipe out my confidence for this Promos. Cos if its gone, then im a loser. & it further shows why I never assimiliate with sage. If i had moved on, some things may haf stayed the same. The irony. My choice to work on tt problematic subject is frequently questioned. Maybe i shud haf stayed focus and work on it throughout the year. Okay, my fault. & there's a fine line between eccentric and different. Whatever it is, i really appreciate sheedy's help in macro. Well, atleast i could ans those qns with more confident. Eee. I dun understand myself. Im still worried abt econs even though i completed all. I guess im just not confident if i had applied adequate economic terms. Econs spells problem to me.

Sigh sigh. I just dun feel like studying for chem. Im tired of everything. But i do feel anxious abt the paper tmr. Suresh said "you can comfortably get 70 plus for the paper". Heh. It freaks me out. Since when did i ever get so high for chem. It was a goner last year. Barely obtaining the midpoint. But oh well. Recent test had proved tt potential is unfolding and tt over estimated B is achievable. Wow.

I tink today my entries dun make sense. But tts more of me in my usual state of persistent thinking. Admiration for those with consistent hardwork and perseverence. Bleah. I dun believe in burning midnight oil. But i believe its the effort tt counts. Im lacking of it.

A week left before promos really come to an end. But i cant wait for it to be over. So much things to settle then. Some things should be swept aside for reviewing later.

& its the start of chem-ing time for me. Wish me all the best. heeh.

i didn know myself until you changed me
& made me understand

Happy 4th month, darling!! Time is crucial. So sad we cant spend the day togeda. But well, its ok. We'll make up for it aft promos. Like 9 days from now. Time will pass fster hen u noe it. (:

Haf been trying my best to understand macro economics well since ytd till now but i tink i failed. Boo! Econs is just not for me luhh. I never spent so much time on any subj just to understand it lor. I never even study math at all right from the beginning of the year. Just fully depending on wad i learnt n understood in the few moments when im actually attentive in those boring math lectures. Tutorials are fairly easy to complete. Tts wad make it a whole lot difficult to make me want to prac math. But i tink i shall. Right aft chem paper on the day before maths. Heeh. Then maybe i can pull tt B to an A. LOL.

Its like two hours before the break of fast. I shall take a break and continue mugging ard 8pm. Econs is so dry. Eeeeeee. I just hate it alot alot. I hope studying wont be a waste of my effort. my marks better be satisfactory. Boo!

I just cant wait till promos are over. I wanna enjoy all i can.

Time never failed to zoom pass when u least wanted it too. But well, i really wanna get iver and done with this Pormotional exams. True enuff. Been there, done tt. But there's still a slight feeling of anxiety. Or rather guilt. Cos i noe i shud've cut down on certain things and focus more on studying. Studying does keep me happy. Shall go back to mugging mode v soon.

2 papers down. Or rather just one subject down. LOL. GP, the subjects which bores me but at the same time, such a relief since there is no need to study for it. Paper 1 wasn't tt difficult but all the questions are out of my expectations. Without reading any notes for content, i just simply write all tt i can think of in the short duration of half an hour. Oh, tts like one third of the given time. A lil too quick but i hope i didn write too short. But im certain i wrote over a thousand words on just tt piece of paper. Guess my handwriting was a lil mini. They say the more u focus the smaller u write. Small writing points to someone who has the ability to concentrate on minor details for long periods of time. Maybe tts why.

I find grapohology somewhat interesting. Usually ppl take those personality quiz with several questions to see their personality but i tink its more accurate to analyse handwriting to find out how somebody is. General level of intelligence can be determined by examining the small letters "m," "n," and "r." Someone with a "quick" mind will write these letters with sharp pointed tops. These writers are quick to comprehend and retain ideas. They are usually considered "smart." The speed of the script reveals much about the writer. Fast writers can be spontaneous, impatient, ambitious, aggressive, negligent, quick thinkers, accident prone bla bla. In a full evaluation of writing speed, many other traits must be examined to determine the correct meaning. LOL. Ultimately, no exactly one handwriting is perfectly good since there's always the pros n cons in everything.

Wahh. I really cant wait till promos are over. then theres inter hse games and outing for kairos ppl. Heh. But wad i really looking forward for is to spend time with my man. We haf a whole list of things to do and food to eat. Exciting luhh.

Eee. Now i wanna drink fruit juice so badly. Sigh. Nvm. Shall buy tmr.

So now theres like 5 days bla bla bla hours n blah mins n secs left before seating for the first paper for Promos. Time for real mugging. But its a bit scary to live like a mugger and totally forget to haf fun. Well, its just not me to be so serious. So yea. Must ofcos haf some fun but feel a lil guilty la. Was planning to do some work during the lunch break but instead spent time talking crap and playing with pam's phone. N we contributed to her folder of pictures and a nice wallpaper for her phone. LOL.

Here comes the family.. (:

Love them lots cos they make school life intersting and never failed to bring me smiles.

Promos drawing near. I feel like im being less n less of myself. Or maybe its just always in me but was rarely shown. i feel like im getting more serious than i tot i would be. Kinda scary cos i tink i cant control my emotions/ temper well. Oh mann. almost chao Mugger mode reached. Mission accomplished. The next worry is :will all these produce results?? Heh. Abit scary la cos i haf never reached any period in my life where i take 'studies' more serious than now. Yea, its 'studies'. Cos tt word is far too general. I still feel reluctant to go for certain lessons. But i am putting in alot of effort in subjects which i wish to do well. Not tt i dun intend to do well in all my subj. Its just tt certain subjects deserve more attention. LOL. Oh well, i hope ppl ard me do understand tt i do haf my quiet moments.

As time passes, i kinda feel sick of the subj which i used to like. tink i liked it cos its easy but i feel tt its getting a lil too boring. Chem found its way into my heart. Think for the past few days tt ive been revising chem over and over again to the point tt im dreaming of my chem mindmaps has made me fond of studying more of chem. but tt shudn be the case cos there are other impt subjects too. Suresh has been a great help. Well i mean, he's really a fun teacher. Can relate well to us and noes the exact things tt we need to noe. I guess he's been putting alot alot of effort in trying to help his students and ensure tt all of us can do well. But tt also means tt he has lesser time for consultation esp when he tinks you're not so weak in chem. ): I need consultation. Boost my confidence. Please.

Papers are said to be set easy. Tts good and bad. Well, not cos there will be abell curve drawn or wadsoever. No moderations i heard. But then, its a matter of morale. The feeling of not being able to do well despite an easy paper is very unfavourable. the good thing is tt, there's more hope to reach my "unreasonable" goals. LOL. Tink im just retarded. haf my own goals but at the same time, it seems a lil unachieveable at this rate. ive been slacking for too long and started mugging alil too late. Heh. Nvm. Theres no use giving up. Work hard all the way. Please the teachers. Show them ive got effort. LOL.

& i haf been tinking. What does it take to be envious of? N what does it take to be admired instead? Theres really no difference actually. Guess it depends on the character of different ppl. Some ppl just cant stand to see others getting much better than he is. While other will admire and get inspired or sumthing. Well, wadeva la. I just feel tt everyone shud never haf any bad intentions towards other ppl and think abt the consequences of their actions. Anw, when theres ppl out there who just wanna bring u down, one shud not bother a single bit. Trust in yourself.

I actually feel for zul. He's one of my close frens who is really one of the nicest guy in the world. Tink he's sometimes too nice tt he's so easily bullied. LOL. n im one of those who love to bully him but i tink he noes i was just playing. He rocks the world of friends mann. He has the brains and never failed to cheer me up when im down. Can get the honest opinions for him and best understanding too! And i am so touched by what he has on his new blog. His creative juices never cease.

WOW! Its been such a long time since i actually blogged at this hour. Theres not much things to blog abt anyway. Life's sliding thru the halls of boredom. Nothing much interesting. Well, just not so interesting. Tried to mug n i tink its quite addictive. Like how i am forgoing my sleep cos i just dun wanna leave my notes. Im supposed to be practising qns from tys but some girl here is being a lazy pig. So she decided not to. LOL. but redoing tutorials shud be enuff la. Im quite done i guess. Whee!!

Been losing alot alot alot of sleep. It makes me cranky and retarded? Hm. Dunno la. Maybe tts just part of pms. Wadeva it is, i appreciate tolerance. (: I tink some ppl out there haf always thought im retarded. But wadeva. I am me n nobody's me.

It has been 5 days thru the fasting month. Tink ive been eating more than usual this year la. Omg. Seen Myra the mammoth? Coming soon. LOL. My stomach's giving me alot alot alot of prob again. Hope it doesn get worse.

Bleah. Weekends are back. N i want it over sooooooooon. BTW, all should love barney! heeh.

Ive really nothing better to do actually. taking a break from chemistry. Oh yea. I just realised a new note behind my door. From my sis Theres no beginning and ending. Quoted from madonna. LOL. Funny. Ive been thinking n thinking. Makes sense? Hm. There's no ending without a beginning la. But there's always a beginning to something and the end even though some ending are too abrupt.

One of the first few pics we took. LOL. I just found them somewhere in the comp.
heeh.

The weather has pretty much stayed cool. Well, thank god for tt. Had class CIP at St Luke's eldercare. Its more interesting tt i expected. Old ppl are entertaining. Wahh. I dun haf much time to blog. Gotta finish up my work and sleep. My eyes are throbbing with pain. Due to the lack of too much sleep. Guess i shall mug the whole of tmr. Fun. Hehe.

daddy's so hardworking

The men are in the back row. Ladies in front. Hoho.

Yeah. Im a cool boy.

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introducing my new toy